He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
4 words: hood of his car
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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