it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
