So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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