Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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