She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
