I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize