come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
