haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
