R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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