i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
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