...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
