The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
