Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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