The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
