i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
