I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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