Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
