I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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