The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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