whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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