Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
