Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
