do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Drake has all the answers
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
