R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
