Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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