The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
