apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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