Whats the glycemic index on semen?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
