My girlfriend figured out who you are.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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