She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
