Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
