hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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