I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
