I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
