Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
