Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
All I want is dick and wine.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
