no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
