I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
