So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
