he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
