I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
