You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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