I think i peed on brittanys purse
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
