i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
