I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
