I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
