So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
