I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
