dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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