dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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