How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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