and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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