Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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